For the most part my personality is pretty even keel, but when something really gets me excited I tend to lose my sense of control and get pretty giddy, hyper, and maybe even obnoxious. (but also, I'm ok with being a little weird and may even embrace making a fool of myself at times.)
Thankfully this is a pretty rare occurrence and for the most part I present myself as a normal human being. 😂
The flip side of that is that when I experience a significant offense, in the same way, I can get stuck real quick in grumpiness, anger and bitterness and I have a hard time coming down from there.
Again, it doesn't happen too often (thank the good Lord). And when it does it's most likely directed toward Ben, my husband, or mayyybe someone else really close to me.
But anyone other than Ben would probably have no idea what's going on in my insides. I'm a real good stuffer and I tend to hide my feelings well so other people don't see them and I don't have to deal with them (hello, enneagram 9).
But Ben knows me well enough to know when that's happening. So even though I'm stuffing feelings down, they're still inside my heart, I haven't dealt with them and thus they effect our marriage and relationship- whether I like to admit it or not.
You might manifest handling an offense in a different way (unless you're also an enneagram 9, holla!), but either way we all have our... issues... when it comes to truly, actually, fully dealing with the hurt from being wronged by someone and choosing to show them grace and forgiveness. Maybe you lash out, maybe you talk bad about them behind their back, maybe you just stop talking to them altogether. Whatever.
We all have our things.
BUT if you've been a Christian for longer than a minute, you know we're called to give the same grace to others that Jesus extended to us. That means, in part, genuinely overlooking an offense and offering forgiveness- all the way.
So much easier said than done.
Ignoring us or the wrong we've done, directing anger at us or withdrawing from us are not ways that Jesus handles our sins. No, He actually looks our wrongs in the face and says "it doesn't matter that this is here, because I love you too much to hold on it it. I forgive you and I love you a thousand times over. Come hang out with me, I want to be with you."
That's real different, right there.
That's also really hard for me/us as humans to do.
It's not in our human nature to love like He does.
But it is in Jesus's nature! AND we have Jesus inside of us.
So if we're walking with Him, hanging out with Him, allowing our hearts to be molded to His, desiring His ways and unity and intimacy with Him... If it starts with us just plain being with Him, we will be able to love like He does.
I mean, like, look the offense in the face, then look past it at that person you love. Believe the best about them and believe in God's work in them, remember how much you love them, talk to God about them, and then allow God's love to flow through you to them.
When it comes to Ben, and I'm having a hard time moving past something, I will literally think of all the things I love about him and about us and I will thank God for him and pray for him. It always helps me to see the situation through the lens of God's eyes.
I think, in general (maybe always?), we shouldn't ever need to hold on to hurts inside us caused by those we love. And even if we don't already love someone, God's love on it's own is still powerful enough to cover every offense.
Here's some Bible to back me up:
I love this Proverbs that says, "It is to one's glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11
And 1st Peter, "Above all, love each other deeply, for love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8
Jesus said it Himself, plainly, "My command is this: love each other as I have loved you." John 15:12
This can be a real thing for us.
We CAN genuinely experience the full scope of God's grace and forgiveness for others, flowing through us.
It starts with Him in us, though. Us walking with Him, gleaning from Him, allowing Him to take over our hearts.
It's so worth it. Being with Jesus as much as possible is really the best thing in this life, I believe. If we have the chance to experience heaven on earth- the fullness of His perfection and love pulsing through us, constant companionship with him- why not take it as much as is humanly possible?! That's my goal these days, and I pray for all the rest of my days. I've found too much of Him and His goodness there to want anything other than more and more and all and every bit of Him.
He's a better way to live, I can promise you that. And His design for love is so much greater than the enemy's traps of bitterness and deceit that drags us down to the darkness with him.
So where are you right now? How do you need to walk out this love of Jesus? What have you been holding on to and allowing the enemy to invade instead of giving God the control?
Let's go back to the source of love, let's hang out with Jesus and ask Him to help us with this. Let's get some Heaven perspective and allow His love to take over!
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