JUST BEING REAL, Y'ALL

I have to be real with you guys.
I wrote that last post- you know, about the devil and how lame he is- like, a week and a half ago. But I couldn't post it at the time.

I couldn't post it because I wasn't really walking out everything I had just preached (/typed) on. I wanted to love my husband so well that it erased all of the hurt and bitterness I was feeling and my need for approval, or whatever, but I wasn't all the way there.
I was trying (or I tried that night), honestly, but something was getting in the way.

I wasn't sure what it was at the time, but now I realize what the problem was.
For starters, when we shine a light on Satan and start to fight back against him, he's most likely going to try even harder to get at us. He doesn't give up easily, if he ever does.
But I can't blame all of my issues on him.

Because the truth of the matter is that I was just being lazy. 

The devil was making things harder on me, yes, but I was also being lazy.

Right after writing that post, we were hit with fevers and sickness and congestion and barfing and allll-uh-that. I had a migraine/headache that lasted for a week that would not quit no matter how many ibuprofen I popped.
What a convenient excuse to sleep in.
I needed (and we all needed) to just rest, right?

My favorite part of the day is always early mornings before the babes are awake when I can just sit and be with Jesus. But during that week of ultra-sickness, my morning time with Him (or any time, really) just wasn't happening.

It's not the resting that was the laziness on my part, but the lack of being with my Jesus.
That's where I was making excuses for myself. And that's why I wasn't able to fully, in the deepest parts of my heart, love Ben the way I wanted to.

Now, I'll say, Ben didn't really have any idea what was going on in my insides. As far as he knew we had resolved things and were doing great. And really, we were. But it was my heart that was being effected and needed some work.
And for someone as stubborn as me, it's hard work to let go of hurts- no matter how small they are.

And I just needed Jesus to help me, you guys. He's amazing at that. He is love. If I want to love more, I just need more Jesus and that love will happen as a result of my closeness and unity with Him.

And then, another (awesome) result of that, is that the damn devil gets pushed down a little further into his place... and I'm not even trying to fight him off, I'm just trying to be with my Jesus- my most favorite place to be anyway.

If I've been walking in step with the love of Jesus, loving my husband in the purest way will be so much more natural and easy.
Even more, if I'm not walking in step with the love of Jesus, I just plain wont be able to love anyone to the fullest, most beautiful and God-honoring extent. Including my husband.

I don't believe in coincidences when it comes to the work of the enemy...
I believe Satan wanted us all to be sick. I think he wanted me to be distant from God and my husband. He did NOT want me to post the truth about him on all of the interwebs. And he's still doing his best to attack us today (both boys woke up with fevers, again... but I ain't about to let him take my joy away!). 'Cause I see you, Satan. I know what you're doing. And I know I have all I need, in Jesus, to overcome you.

I want to say it's not easy fighting such a strong, persistent and powerful enemy like Satan. But also, maybe it kindof is?
'Cause we don't even really have to do that much fighting. We just need to stay close to Jesus.
But, also, I get it, he does make things real hard some times.
And I do think there are times when, as Christians, we do need to actually gear up to fight against him.
But you get what I'm saying, right?!

Here's what's most important, though...

First step: stay close to Jesus. Aim for as much unity with Him and experience of His presence as is humanly possible on this earth. He will blow you away with the goodness of Himself, I'm sure of that.
Second: love like He does. Everyone, every way, as much as humanly possible on this earth. And the devil will already be a step back because of it.
Third: recognize the work the devil is doing to try and fight that unity you have with Jesus and His love that's in you... call him out on it. Don't let him win. Fight back.
Forth: repeat above steps.

It is hard work at times. Don't hear me say it's not (except I know I kinda said it is... but you get me, right?).
Let's do the hard work! It just turns out that the hard work is also the most Holy, rewarding and fulfilling work there is.