PRACTICING GOD'S PRESENCE??

I've been giving a lot of thought recently to the idea of living our lives- or rather, my life- constantly in the presence of God. It seems crazy to think that's even possible... I mean, like really, constantly and always in His presence.

It all sounds very lofty. But in layman's terms, essentially I mean conversing with Him throughout the day, being reminded off all He is and offers me, having a grateful heart for the good things He has blessed me with, turning to Him for needs or direction, and asking for forgiveness when I recognize an area or moment of sin in my life, etc. You get the picture.

I just finished a book called The Practice of the Presence of God. If you can't guess by the title, it's essentially about walking through life with Jesus in every last minute of every day. 

Again, lofty.

The book is inspired by the writings and teachings of a monk named Brother Lawrence who devoted his life to this practice of focusing his heart on God 100% of his waking hours. I loved reading about this perspective on life that would say that we CAN actually accomplish this as Brother Lawrence claims he was able to do in his life.

The idea that this type of "perfection" in the Christian life is the goal might discourage some since it just seems so far from reality, but for me, it inspires me. I'm all like, I want that! I can do that too, right?! 

And so, that's where I've been... trying to do this thing for reals! Trying to rest my mind on Christ as much as is humanly possible.
But.
My problem is this...
I'm a mom of two fiery and fun boys (not to mention our lives are full and busy and I run an online shop and we serve with our church and yada yada...). Lawrence was a monk who mainly worked alone in the kitchen and was required to pray a minimun of 3 hours a day. His job as a monk was to devote his whole life to Jesus. 

I'd argue that's my job as well, but my job ALSO includes taking care of two babies all day, every day, managing our home, et cetera, et certera, et cetera.
Lawrence mentions a lot how he would be doing his work in the kitchen while simultaneously be fully enraptured in his mind with the things of God and experiencing perfect unity with His presence.
Man, I want that. But if I ever feel like I get slightly close, I'm typically (and quickly) interrupted by a toddler scream or poopy diaper or request to watch Super Why or a snack or something else that babies demand of me at all points of the day (gosh, I love 'em).

Annnnd so, I still feel very far off from this blissful unity I so desire. 

In order to try and be intentional, I've had to start thinking very practically about it all. I pulled an Ann Voscamp and left a notebook open on the counter for a couple days so I could write down things I was grateful for as they came to mind. That was helpful as long as I remembered that notebook was there, and until there were stacks of legos and markers on top of it (literally). 

I've been more intentional with my morning time to read my Bible and pray and have been going through the Lord's prayer and the Psalms to try and help me grow in understanding of more ways to approach Him in prayer and praise. And then I've tried to practice those things throughout the day. That is, until I forget about them again... For hours on end. 

The point is, I'm at this place of wanting/trying to be intentional but am somewhat failing. Because, life. You know what, though, I'm not at all feeling discouraged in my failing. Maybe that's just God's grace, but the truth is that even in my lacking, I can see clearly the ways and the times my heart is drawn in to Him and those become more sweet and precious to me. And I can see that even though I'm no where near where I would like to be on the scale of perfect-unity-with-Him, simply wanting that nearness blesses Him, I know. 

Brother Lawrence explains multiple times in his book that accomplishing this goal of presence with God is super difficult and you will fail miserably. He's totally right, and He didn't even have kids to corral! BUT, he says, don't ever let that leave you in a state of discouragement. Cause God's got all the grace in the world for just that. Just ask for forgiveness and try again, he encourages.

My goal with all of this is to really commit to it. I want to spend as long on working this out as I need, be it months or years. I'd love to come up with more practical solutions on how a modern day, stay at home or working mom can incorporate more of His precious presence into our lives, even amidst all of the distractions that bombard each of us in different ways. And so I'll check back here and let you know how my success and failures are going. And maybe we can even be on this journey together.
Because for real, what in this WHOLE WORLD is better that hanging out with Jesus while we do all He's given us to do in this life? That's where all the fulfillment for my work is found. And maybe will be for you, too.