New Home, New Perspective

Does anyone else out there stress about money?

Gah. I feel like it's always on my mind. I literally check our bank account and monthly budgets at least twice a day. I might be a little crazy with it. But I'm not ALL crazy, right?... with moving to a new home comes lots of new start up costs- from furniture that fits to light bulbs and new paint, and for us a slightly higher monthly rent. Add to that our recent trip home which means a week without pay for me. Follow that up with 2 weeks worth of visitors who HAVE to eat out while they're in Charleston (no sarcasm there... They really do have to) and the future for us that I know is on the way- diapers, wipes, baby clothes, baby toys, baby medicine, baby everything that costs a lot of money, money, money!

I need to stop. I'm making myself feel all ansy inside.

But I'm wrong for feeling this way! I'm so wrong.

We now have a beautiful new home plus the down payment that allowed us to get it, and both practically handed to us (Read that story here). What a blessing. On move in day we had SO much help from our friends and family. They scrubbed floors and tubs, they painted walls, they moved in heavy furniture... They blessed our socks off!

We've had baby items dropped off at our doorstep and already 2 amazing baby showers with such generous gifts that I can't help but be blown away.

In all honesty, we have all the money we need in our bank account. And when things get tight and we don't know how we're going to pay for a down payment or get the house cleaned up and moved in, our God always provides. I know that's true. I fully believe it.
But I still worry.

It's not that I think we're going to go bankrupt, and I'm not bothered by the idea of no new clothes for awhile or going out to eat less frequently. It's simply the fear of not having a cushion. I think it's the American mindset in me that wants to have a little extra just so I can feel better.

Guys, I've punched the numbers and with this new house/stage of life, our living expenses should just about equal our spending. And that's so scary to me! What about when our cars need serviced or the baby's crib breaks or Ben severely injures himself or something even crazier happens?!? Ahh!! 

It's that fear of the possibility of an expensive situation that gets to me. 

But I need to preach to myself here. Because I know exactly what this is... It's fear. And only that. 

One piece of wisdom I always try to remind myself of in times like this is something my pastor's wife back in Fort Wayne told me. She told me to read Philippians 4:8 and do what it says. 

"Whatever is true, noble, right, lovely, pure, of good report... Think on these things."

Is it true that this new stage of life will cause our finances to wither into nothingness, something absurd will occur and we will be stuck stressing and fighting over what we're going to do about it while eating speghetti every night for a month?? Heck no! That's not true! So there's no reason for me to entertain those fears right now. 

And you know what, even if any and all of that became true one day, is there any reason for me to doubt that my loving Father would take good care of us? Not at all. 

I've been reading in Romans and chapter 8 is just awesome. Verse 32 says that if our Father was willing to sacrifice His only son for us, is there anything that he would not do for us? Much less, there is everything He could do for us if he wanted to. 

I want to train my mind to see money-related-everything from a new perspective. I want to see money as a tool and not as a necessity, as our pastor says. What we've been blessed with is God's gift to use wisely for His kingdom. It's not meant to be the means by which our lives function and survive. I want to trust The Lord always in finances and everything else, and when He tells me to cast my cares on Him because He cares for me, I want to believe it and I want to do it. 

Just writing all this out is making me feel a little dumb for stressing over finances like I have been. Thank you for listening to me rant. Now I pray I can have enlightened eyes and grow from here in my dependence on The Lord and trust in Him. And maybe if you're like me in any of these areas you can be encouraged too. Let's be encouraged together! Because the God we serve holds the world in His hand, He knows our every want and need, and He has promised to always take care of us and never leave our side. And that's good news.