There's a Baby in There!!!

It's the most amazing thing ever!!! I'm 18 weeks pregnant and the sweet baby in my belly is the size of a green bell pepper (insert heart eyes emoticon)! Please excuse me while I ramble a bit about this miracle happening inside of me.

I'm already feeling baby bell pepper kick and wiggle (a lot), especially after I eat sugar :) If little one is anything like their momma, they will grow up with a very devout love for all things sweet.

When Ben and I first got married, we went back and forth every other month on whether or not we wanted to wait to have our first child. Immediately after our honeymoon I was like, "let's make a baby!" But I got over that pretty quickly. And then when we started officially trying, it took a little longer for that positive test than we expected- 7 months to be exact.
That waiting period was really difficult. I thought I would be the perfect candidate for baby making... what could go wrong? But it turns out the miracle of conception is not always as easy as it seems. For reals, it literally is a miracle. I went in and out of being frustrated with God and asking what was wrong with my body or for what reason He wasn't giving us a child. Then friends around me started getting pregnant and it made the whole thing 10 times harder. But you know what? The waiting and the struggle has just made this pregnancy that much more beautiful. It feels more like something that wasn't necessarily guaranteed all along (like I assumed), but like something that Ben and I have been crazy blessed with and are honored and grateful because of it.  

At our first ultrasound I was literally awestruck at the image of the gummy bear on the screen wiggling around. I couldn't cry, I couldn't speak, I couldn't even think. I was just overly amazed and blessed at what was going on and growing inside of me. I felt incredibly thankful and at the same time somehow unworthy of this miracle. And I still feel that way. I get to be a mom! What?! And Ben gets to be a dad, and we get to do it together :)

The whole thing is still very surreal. I'm not popping that baby belly yet (although I am a few pounds chubbier), so the fact that we will have a tiny half me, half Ben human in just a 5 short months seems so far off sometimes. Until baby starts kicking... then I feel like he or she is already here :) 

I don't think Ben and I could be any more excited. We keep saying we're just ready for this baby to be here! And even more, I think I'm ready for this baby to be walking and talking and hanging out out with its mom and dad and siblings! (hopefully :)) But I'm positive we will love every second of the baby stage too.

Your daddy and I can't wait to meet you, baby bell pepper!!

P. S. Just felt your little legs kick me :)