Our house is old (we're renting), it has a stinky old basement, and Fort Wayne has gotten wayyy too much rain in these past few weeks. The combo of all that equals musty smelling air blowing through our vents and filling our house. Blegh.
[[[Let me preface all this by saying I'm pretty sensitive to smells so it may sound like I'm being a big baby about all this, but it's because I am. I'm a big baby about all this.]]]
It grosses me out! I feel like I'm breathing in filthy, unhealthy air and it literally takes over our whole house. (Let me add, we're not feeling sick or unhealthy because of it... It just smells bad).
But this has got me thinking... thinking about the fact that something like the status of a basement can influence an entire home. Sort of like the status of my hormones influence my mood, patience, and waist size (ha).
The idea I'm getting at is that something that's hidden and unseen and most often forgotten has the power to overtake and even control some other thing.
For example, sometimes the status of my attitude toward someone else controls my actions toward them.
Let me just be real with you all for a minute... sometimes things get stinky between my husband Ben and I. Either we get into a fight and don't resolve it, or I don't like the way he handled some situation or he didn't like that one thing I said to him the other day. And we don't even recognize it, but we so easily start to turn bitter toward each other. If I'm speaking for myself, I even forget why my heart became sour and all I know is that there's something gross underneath that's making it easy for me to act out against him, to raise my voice or to keep my distance. On the real. I'm so good at ignoring things and hoping they dissipate, but when there are still remnants of hurt and bitterness effecting our relationship then it's clearly apparent that something needs to be addressed.
So it's when I take a minute to remember that the mess and the stink has a source that I can then look underneath the mess to find the issue. And I always find it when I look... buried somewhere deep and secretive covered with darkness so I don't have to look at it.
All the while I've been trying to pretend everything is roses and sunshine... and all the while I've been failing because everything has NOT been roses and sunshine.
All the while I've been trying to pretend everything is roses and sunshine... and all the while I've been failing because everything has NOT been roses and sunshine.
It's like the stinky basement blowing it's dark, dingy, mustiness all over our clean house and nice furniture. But the smell can't be hidden. It'll be there until the problem is taken care of.
This all brings to mind the verse "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." (Matthew 12:34)
It's like the verse says... My mouth with speak based out of what's in my heart. So I want to be good at checking my heart as the source and checking it often. It's a dangerous game to brush hurts and frustrations aside as if they were never present. Because they will always resurface eventually if you allow them to stick around. So I want to clean up my cob webbed corners and wipe out the grime that's stuck on my walls so that my heart can be honest, transparent, noble and fully loving toward my husband. So that we can be current in our communication and fight bitterness head on so it doesn't grow roots and can't create a stench.
And the work is worth it! Because when my heart is right toward Ben and his heart is connected to mine, then our house is all lavender and rosemary and fresh laundry scented. And that's the kind of house I want to live in.
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